Teen Wolf on a motorized skateboard.
Evolution Caught On Tape, I Told You It Was Fucking True
I’m still eating croissants and decaf coffee while birds are proving evolutionary theory, AND writing songs.
Link at Title.
Posted November 17, 2009 at 10:01am
Posted November 13, 2009 at 2:43pm
Posted November 12, 2009 at 1:17pm
Posted November 10, 2009 at 1:54pm
The Internet Was Down At Work: What I Did Without It
10:15 AM - Ordered DECAF cafe’ misto (half steamed-milk/half coffee) at the lobby Starbucks.
10:30 AM - Began drinking DECAF cafe’ misto after several conversations with coworkers regarding my swine flu infection from last week. Alex, the veteran houseman, who usually tirelessly recounts horror stories from Social Distortion concerts from when I was still too young to know that Legos were not edible, welcomed me back more earnestly than anyone else. He’s a good person. He’s one of the few people who haven’t fed me a line of bullshit since I started here.
10:34 AM - Added another packet of sugar because I like my coffee like candy: sweet.
10:37 AM - No noticeable change to my mood/disposition since beginning to drink my DECAF cafe’ misto. I should be clear. I have a caffeine sensitivity. Whether it’s because it interferes with whatever causes my anxiety attacks or is actually a sensitivity is debatable. Coffee seems to exacerbate the sensitivity more than, say, a coke, and I have often had adverse effects drinking decaf. So this is sort of a test to occupy my time since I can’t get on Reddit or wow.com to analyze the DPS of my level 70 Death Knight before I depart for Northrend.
10:41 AM - Found blank manila folders to organize my desk better. Apparently, while I was out sick, it was discovered that my organization skills are sub-par and that there are “opportunities” for me to “excel at organization” that are not currently “being utilized,” i.e., I’m an unorganized, careless slacker who only gets done what needs to get done. I’m also messy. I also don’t care.
10:54 AM - Put some folders in other folders dated for next year. Wondered if I would be around to see the accounts arrive. DECAF cafe’ misto is making me feel funny. Not sure, but most likely psychosomatic.
10:57 AM - ‘Range Life’ by Pavement comes on my iPod. It is a song that still amazes me and I would also still rather be riding a skateboard to nowhere with headphones on than do any of the adult things I’ve been farting around with for the past 8 years. I am 30. I live with my mother. This does not embarrass me. The Maxim magazine I’ve tried to unsubscribe from for the past two years embarrasses me, well, also the World of Warcraft account I have. But there’s a reason for that (unemployment, beer).
11:01 AM - DECAF cafe’ misto is finished. Hot flashes begin. Caffeine gives me menopause. I guess coffee, caffeinated or not, also gives me menopause. My knees are extraordinarily bouncy. I’m hot and then cold and then hot and then cold. I also want a croissant, un-toasted, smothered in butter.
11:14 AM - Feel sleepy. I just threw out a lot of paper that could have been recycled. Lunch is just two hours and fifteen minutes away. I’m going to play an anagram game on my cellphone and put on Silkworm’s, Firewater. “Goddamn the circumstance that brought me here…”
11:53 AM - I was just informed that I will have to take an early lunch so that I can hang out in the guest computer terminal area and check my emails because I have a lot of “internal” emails. What the fuck does that mean? I don’t like eating lunch before 1:00 PM. I love it when someone else thinks they know better about whom I should email. If someone I work with in the same building has a question for me that serious, I’m pretty sure there’s a way they could get in contact with me. I’m also pretty sure I would avoid them.
3:08 PM - Played solitaire on the iPod.
3:35 PM - Did things around the office but forgot what they were. It was an ancient rote, slacker look-busy-by-fussing-around act. Pulled it off with flying colors. Ate a bad lunch. Checked email in the lobby at the kiosks reserved for guests. Called people about stuff they called me about. I was not very helpful. Unsure where I am now. Mentally. Gray skies outside. Will apply to other jobs tonight. Played solitaire on the iPod.
3:41 PM - Got angry for seven minutes about how I explained I didn’t want to do sales when I interviewed for this job and then when I got the job I was given sales numbers to meet. Played solitaire on the iPod.
Posted October 29, 2009 at 1:23pm
The Only Known Cancerless Animal Wants YOU To Be Cancerless Too
If you don’t have to suffer cancer, then you have to look like this.
Article link at header.
Posted October 27, 2009 at 9:22am
Posted October 23, 2009 at 4:54pm
